Bush fast, Bush furious

Constructed in 1931, Bush Stadium has hosted its fair share of athletic teams. Whether it be the Indianapolis Capitols or the Indianapolis Indians, the venue has been an integral part of Indianapolis' sporting history. Unfortunately, as the saying goes, all good things must come to an end. Bush Stadium is no exception. In 1996 the Indians jumped ship for the newly built Victory Field, and ever since, the stadium has been in a perpetual state of disrepair. During the past thirteen years, the city has tried to repurpose the facility, but each attempt has failed miserably. For a while, it was converted into a midget car dirt racing track, but even the motorsports capitol of the world couldn't sustain the new format. Then in the early 2000's, the Indiana high school sports governing body (IHSAA) held the soccer state championships there. That didn't last either. Nowadays, grass grows up through the cracks in the parking lot, and years of pollution and acid rain stain the stadium walls. Every now and again, I hear about the occasional police and military training exercise that takes place on the property, but in general, Bush Statium sits vacant and unused.

Today while cruising down the White River bike path, to my surpise, I noticed new signs of life at the stadium. Positioned along the outskirts of the parking lot were two Driving Dynamics trailers along with several mid-sized cars. Looking closer at the trailers, I noticed the words "advanced driving program". These words intrigued me. Shifting my gaze towards the center of the pavement, I noticed orange traffic cones strewn about in a seemingly strategic manner. Finally, my eyes came to rest upon this solitary vehicle:


Looking closer at the side of the car, I realized that it was no ordinary machine; it was a "Driving Dynamics: Controlled Slide Car". How 'bout that. Apparently, this is what "advanced driving" is all about. A driver never knows when a controlled slide will be the most viable option; thus, said driver should be prepared for any such situation. Now, I'm no car or driving buff, but I'm pretty sure the controlled slide and the Tokyo drift are not mutually exclusive of one another. In fact, a Venn diagram would likely depict two circles overlapping as one. For this reason, I must assume that the person in the photo is either one of two people. On one hand, the presence of hair all but eliminates the possibility of Vin Diesel. Yet, his husky physique does resemble that of XXX himself. On the other hand, the comfort-fit jeans and XL polo lead me to believe he must be Paul Walker. Although, I must admit that he has put on a few pounds since the latest installment of the Fast and Furious franchise. Regardless of this man's identity, one thing is for sure: he knows how to grip it, rip it, and live it on the edge. Perhaps he is the saviour that Bush Stadium so desperately needs. Maybe the outside of the stadium is the new inside. Bare with me here for a second. Maybe, just maybe, the powers that be have had it all wrong. Why focus all of the time and money on repairing a historic landmark when the parking lot surrounding it holds so much potential. This mystery man holds the answer. If you Tokyo drift it, they will come.

Cue Kevin Costner, Vin Diesel, Paul Walker, and the team of ghost baseball players.

Enter turbo-charged Honda Civics stage right.

Perform choreographed Tokyo drift.

Fade to black.

And scene.