Thursday, February 26, 2009

Word of the day


coiffure [kwä-fyŏŏr']
-noun
1. a style of arranging or combing the hair.
2. a head covering; headdress.

My flowing locks have reached the point of no return. Only styling paste and gel can tame this mad beast atop my head. Barely can my helmet withhold these flowing tendrils. Perhaps it's time for a haircut? Possibly. Or perhaps it's time to consider the second part of the aforementioned definition. All roads lead to ponytail.

Tuesday, February 10, 2009

Sonnet 46: An Ode to Kristen Wiig

When the movements of thy dance I do meet,
Entranced do my unwave’ring eyes become.
Apart from the subtle bowing of your feet ,
Engages my mind on your decorum.

Though fellow comics create quite a band,
Nary a jester match your brilliant wit.
Presenteth you a performance so grand,
Lest an act of Kenan ruin your skit.

You seek resolve for such a conundrum?
I assure good fortune smiles unto thee.
For have I a remedy to free glum.
Believe this as a possibility.

Sendeth he back to the Burger of Good,
Kel shall be waiting where since he has stood.

Monday, February 9, 2009

A must read...

Check out this article about Svein Tuft in the NY Times:

http://www.nytimes.com/2009/02/08/sports/othersports/08cycling.html?_r=1

This guy seems like a cross between Sasha Land and Russell van der Genugten.

The mecca

In case you're wondering, I had a super-duper weekend. As the temperature climbed above freezing this past week, I got it in my head that a trip to Bloomington was in need. After emailing with my old Little 5 team earlier in the week, I had originally intended to drive down on Saturday morning and come home later that afternoon. However, as the weekend approached, I decided that the temperature difference between Indy and Btown warranted an earlier than planned departure. So after getting some studying out of the way on Friday morning, I slapped the stead atop my hatchback carriage and cruised on down to the Promise Land. Just me, the car, the bike, and some good old NPR "Fresh Air".

As I took the off-ramp for Walnut Street, nostalgia took over. Man, I miss that place. There's nothing better than Bloomington when the sun is shining and everyone is out and about. On the other hand, I do NOT miss the parking situation down there! It took me a good 20min to find a ticket-free spot at least in the same zip code as my brother's apartment on the Square. Once found, I issued a self-proclamation that I would not move my car until I was ready to head home.

Anyhow, I lugged my gear up to my brother's flat where he had been so kind as to leave me the keys. You see, he and his girlfriend traveled down in Palmyra, Indiana for the weekend and his roommate was visiting Mexico...thus, I had the place to myself. Inside the apartment, Sam has chosen a decorating style very different than that of me, Joel, Eli, Trevy, and whomever else lived with me during the two years I spent in that location. Instead of adorning the far wall with a piece of artwork as I once did, my brother has accented the same wall with holes from his bow and arrow as well as a framed portrait of the Notorious B.I.G. Instead of a triangular glass kitchen table, he intricately places an old wheelchair in the center of the room. And instead of toilet paper that one might purchase at a store, he has opted for pillaging industrial strength bathroom tissue from one of IU's lecture halls with a number two pencil replacing the traditional cardboard roll. The list of differences goes on and on.

As three o'clock rolled around, I threw on my kit and rode over to Revolution for the start of the IUCC ride. After spending twenty minutes fearing for my life during Sketch-Fest 2K9, I prompted The Tatooed One to follow me on a side road. Once out on our own, my appreciation for Bloomington's riding scenery improved ten-fold. Riding through Morgan-Monroe State Forest sure beats the hell out of the city loop in Indy.

After the ride, I showered up and met up with Sasha for some supper at the Basil Leaf Cafe on 4th Street. The food was decent and the atmosphere was alright. Pretty solid, but definitely not one of my 4th Street favorites. Afterwards, Sash took me to his school, showed me his classroom, and told me about his current robotics unit...pretty cool stuff. In need of some libation to quench my thirst, we cruised on over to the newly remodeled and expanded Vid. Honestly, that particular watering hole can no longer be considered a dive bar. It's just too nice...you know, a place where you might actually want to stay for awhile.

Wanting to try something new, Sasha suggested that we head over to Farm's Root Cellar bar to listen to some jazz. This place is awesome. It feels like you're in a typical Bloomington basement complete with cement walls, low ceilings, and possibly a yet-to-be-identified noxious mold-like growth. The kicker comes in the form of a full bourbon menu and $6 brewskies. I must say, however, that the prices more than paid for the "vibe". It was under the auspices of the Root Cellar's mojo that Sasha convinced me to mountain bike the Continental Divide during the summer of 2010. Having done it once before, he assured me that grizzly bears and rattlesnakes are nothing to worry about as long as you carry a hunting knife and bear mase at all times. If everything pans out, this could be one of the most intense experiences of my life. Two months. 2,700 backcountry miles. Five states. And three countries. If I'm going to be out in the wilderness with anyone, Sasha is probably the safest bet. After all, he's the same guy that casually told me how to break a dog's breast bone in the event of an attack.

Hmmmm, after mentioning the epicness that will be the Continental Divide trip, it hardly seems worthy to describe Saturday's ride which landed just South of epic proportions by Bloomington standards. It was wet and windy, but riding with the Cutters made it quite enjoyable. Plus, 55 degree weather this time year is nothing to complain about.

What a great weekend.

Until next time, "I'm riding on a dolphin, doing flips and shit."

Wednesday, February 4, 2009

One of my SNL Digital Short favorites

Why is this so funny? Simple, it involves people getting blindsided by Andy Samberg just before taking a bite of food.

Tuesday, February 3, 2009

It's snowing...again

I mean, what's the deal with this weather? I literally woke up this morning, looked out the window, and saw zero snowfall. As per my daily self-sanitation routine, I hopped in the shower, toweled off, and walked towards my closet. Upon glancing out the ventana once more, I noticed some sort of distorted, disruptive disturbance (man, I've been on an illiteration kick as of late...all you need to do is read my latest Org. Psych. essay) illuminated against the streetlight outside. Yep, you guessed it--Indiana Blizzard 2k9 version 2.0. I kid you not, in mere minutes there must have been 3cm of accumulation outside...and I'm talking 20 minutes tops.

On my drive over to IUPUI, it continued snowing like something related to "the dickens". I knew it would be a waste of my time to jump on I-65, so being the sneaky guy that I am, I took the covert route through the 'hood. Traversing by the Naval Armory and Riverside Golf Course, my range of visibility extended no further than a couple of meters...good thing the Matrix has all-wheel drive...NOT! Fortunately, other drivers seemed to be exercising a great deal of caution which was a welcome change from Indiana Blizzard 2k9 version 1.0. Maybe it was the fact that this mini-blizzard was so unexpected, but I witnessed not a single motorist driving like a dipshit. Even the presumably snow-prepared SUVs and trucks seemed to reassess their normal sense of invincibility when it comes to...well...just about anything short of an avalanche.

Eventually, I made it to the Union building sans significant troubles but with twenty additional minutes of travel time. All in all, not too shabby. Hopefully, this new 'pow' melts off before the upcoming weekend as I've been in desparate need for a road ride over 4 hours. If not, fuck it...let's go bowling.

The Dude abides.