Ladies and Gentlemen, it's a blog off!

My esteemed virtual opponent has issued the challenge to end all challenges.

At approximately 8:46pm EST on Friday, my mobile device commenced in a rhythmic trembling that reverberated through the furthest reaches of my soul. Sensing a life altering event, I carefully unsheathed the cellular transmitter from its denim holster. I wiped my brow of cold perspiration and allowed my eyes to focus. A rush of adrenaline coursed through my body. My heart beat furiously. As I accessed the recently received SMS, the sender's name emerged from the pixilated screen. It was one that I knew all too well--Dan Gaz. His message was foreboding: "Want to have a blog off?" Not one to cower, I rattled off a text message of my own. The quickness of the reply exuded confidence but its content revealed fear: "Yes, name the time and topic...it's on like that video game monkey!" Upon striking the send key, I realized my mistake. My quip underscored a seemingly failed attempt to conceal my anxiety. Why oh why did I make an allusion to a video game gorilla? Moreover, the reference was cherry picked from a friend's Facebook status update. Amateur and plagiarized...a suicidal combination. Assuming a humiliating reply, I made preparations for seppuku. With my blade readied, I knelt and summoned my courage; only with self-sacrifice could my honor be restored. Suddenly, my mobile device erupted once more. Contrary to my initial intuitions, my esteemed virtual opponent had spared me ridicule. I released the blade and burst to my feet in exhilaration. His message was clear yet ambiguous, stoic yet elusive. It read: "I'll post the challenge." Not wanting to repeat my previous mistake, I promptly thrust the phone from my grasp to avoid further incident.

Now I await the specifics of the challenge...anxiously but with confidence restored.

Let it be known that only one individual is qualified to judge a blog off of such caliber. David Bowie, let your final decision be known.